How can I get my mother to back off and let me do what I feel is right with my life?

I%26#039;m 26 years old, have lived on my own since I graduated high school, have been married and divorced in that time as well. My mom tells me constantly that it makes her mad that I don%26#039;t call her and ask for her help, yet the few times that I have asked her, it either comes with stipulations or I get a lecture. My boyfriend and I have discussed moving to PA recently and I have had a few job offers there. I asked my mom to help me get a new car (my credit wasn%26#039;t good enough on my own) and then after all the paper work was taken care of, suddenly she tells me that I can%26#039;t go now because she%26#039;ll take the car. I know that she worries, but it%26#039;s feeling suffocating. Every time that I try to talk to her about it, she starts yelling and telling me that I don%26#039;t know what I%26#039;m talking about. She worries that when I move, she%26#039;ll never see me again, but in the past 2 years, she%26#039;s only been to my house three times. I just don%26#039;t understand why she%26#039;s like this and I don%26#039;t know what to do about it. HELP!

How can I get my mother to back off and let me do what I feel is right with my life?

It%26#039;s a mothers %26quot;job%26quot; to give advice (those of which you call lectures). Let her do her job. Use kindness in listening. She might even have some good advice for you.

Kindness means to let her know you appreciate her advice. She knows that you will do what you want in the end, anyways. But at least give her the benefit of doubt by listening and contemplating her ideas. It%26#039;s only a push and shove with you two because she knows you don%26#039;t want to even listen to her advice and she feels helpless. (Once a child turns 18, a mother doesn%26#039;t automatically turn off her instinct to help and raise you).

I%26#039;m sure, after time, if you let her feel you care about her input on matters, she will chill out quite a bit. Perhaps give her some things to give you advice on that you can live with (or secretly agree with her on), and she will begin to feel needed and useful in your life when she sees you follow some of her advice.

How can I get my mother to back off and let me do what I feel is right with my life?

Don%26#039;t get a new car, get a good used car, one that you don%26#039;t need to have mommy sign off on. Or keep your car until you get better credit. Just move.

How can I get my mother to back off and let me do what I feel is right with my life?

I am dealing with similar things with my family. It like they want you dependent on them just so they can be cruel. It%26#039;s called %26quot;toxic parents%26quot; and can even include extended family in the delusion that you did something you should suffer for forever....

Sever contact NOW, it justs gets worse once you have kids...

How can I get my mother to back off and let me do what I feel is right with my life?

Let%26#039;s start with the car issue. Start saving money and get a good used car. This way you don%26#039;t have to rely on anyone%26#039;s credit.

If your credit is bad, then you need to start working a way to pay off or correcting the credit. Maybe getting a 2nd job to help with your debt.

Your mom has a hold on you. You need to talk with you mom about this. That when you have a problem you just want to talk not to be lectured unless you ask. Another thing, in knowing how your mother reacts when it comes to helping you, be prepared that she will use stipulations.

Look, you have been out on your own since high school. If you want to move, go for it!!! You can not let your family hold a cloud or a guilt trip on you. Just make sure that you have finances (money saved) in order.

Good Luck!!