Please ONLY answer if you care to read, be compassionate, %26amp; give tips/advice on how to help me improve this situation. If it閳ユ獨 too long for you, then please do not give a cheap or offensive response.
For the past month, I閳ユ獫e been so depressed that I can閳ユ獩 get out of bed. All I feel like doing is sleeping. I only leave the house for counseling sessions, doctor閳ユ獨 appointments, grocery shopping, %26amp; paying bills. Nothing else. I can閳ユ獩 even drag myself to go to the kitchen to get me something to eat. My appetite has been quite low for the past 3 weeks, %26amp; my counselor %26amp; my friend are very concerned. I try to @ least eat every day, but it閳ユ獨 like I閳ユ獟l eat something like oatmeal %26amp; only eat 3 spoonfuls of it %26amp; then lose my appetite, feeling nauseated %26amp; gagging. I閳ユ獫e also been having severe stomach pains, constipation, %26amp; harsh diarrhea. I feel immobile %26amp; mentally cripple most of the time. I can閳ユ獩 concentrate on anything anymore, I閳ユ獫e been feeling increased anxiety, my Tourette閳ユ獨 tics have been out of whack, %26amp; my OCD unwanted thoughts are more intrusive %26amp; uncontrollable. I can閳ユ獩 even hold a conversation with anyone without feeling mentally interrupted by the thoughts. I have this OCD ritual where when I listen to my favorite songs, I have to concentrate %26amp; pay close attention to the instrumentals. I閳ユ獫e been feeling hopeless %26amp; giving up on everything.
I know why I閳ユ獡 depressed. I just feel stuck like there閳ユ獨 nothing I can do about it. I have a college BA degree in Spanish with a low GPA, %26amp; I閳ユ獡 still not fluent in the language. No one is willing to practice or communicate with me to help me get better at it, except the 1 friend that I do have. I can閳ユ獩 find a job. It閳ユ獨 like I never fit the criteria for a certain job. No one wants to hire me because they can SEE my tics, so they think I閳ユ獡 crazy, %26amp; they freak out %26amp; feel afraid to hire me. I閳ユ獡 in over $80,000 debt because of student loans, credit cards, %26amp; replacing my valuables from Hurricane Katrina. The debt collectors are harassing %26amp; threatening me, %26amp; I閳ユ獡 afraid to lose my apartment. If they take me to court, I won閳ユ獩 be able to keep this apartment. I need my own place because I閳ユ獡 more relaxed %26amp; function better, living alone. I freak out around others. It閳ユ獨 stressful living underneath people, with them breathing me down my neck, telling me what to do. I get SSI %26amp; Social Security, %26amp; it閳ユ獨 not enough to live off of. I閳ユ獡 just BARELY making it, living penny-to-penny. I DESPERATELY want to pay off this debt that I owe, but I feel bad that I can閳ユ獩. I feel like a thief. I feel stuck in a ditch. I閳ユ獫e been either crying or feeling like crying a lot with a lump in my throat lately. I feel like I won閳ユ獩 last long on this Earth %26amp; that I will die soon because of another stroke (I had 2 strokes @ age 5) or a heart attack, or even get stomach ulcers. Please help me!
How do I break away from this current state of mind?
First of all you have my prayers and compassion. You are in a very real situation, but there is hope. I can tell you about some of my own experience and maybe this can help. Please hang in there.
I suffered from a number of mental illnesses. Most went undiagnosed for years because of my own stubborn attitudes about mental illness. I had OCD, depression, ADD, post traumatic stress disorder, and I guess schizophrenia too, but that was a result of massive self medicating with street drugs for a few years. All the former ones were very real and very debilitating for years. I kept jobs, lost jobs, kept relationships, lost relationships... you get the meaning I%26#039;m sure. We tend to do very well with life, in fact better than most sometimes, because we know how pretious it can be. It%26#039;s tough though isn%26#039;t it? You dear person! I can see how hard you are trying. I say this. Don%26#039;t you worry about that credit right this minute. I admire your character. You know that%26#039;s never going to change. Oh%26#039; you might compromise it, but I can tell how committed you are to living, and living right! There are so many options as far as medication goes. You sound clinically depressed absolutely. That%26#039;s the living hell that needs to be addressed first. Without your depression being handled it will without a doubt leave you drained. If it has not passed on it%26#039;s own in a month, it%26#039;s time for help. If you are fortunate enough to be able to check into a crisis center then by all means do this, and let NO ONE TALK YOU OUT OF IT!! We, the mentally ill are regular people, and we did not wish this upon ourselves...and NOBODY LIKES LABELS, but if the kettles black, then the damn kettle is black. So get over that one. Period. Recrute any family member to help you. You are at the point of needing this kind of support. If they don%26#039;t then one thing I notice about you is you are very gracious. Hey, we need people like you out here! We need you in the world living and functioning.
I have been UN-clinically depressed for 5 years now, and I still have my days of things not going right, but I%26#039;m living! This past May i quit smoking and about 2 weeks into it I got clinically depressed. I tried to hold it together and not tell anyone. It%26#039;s just as well I did because when I was about out of it a month later I told my sister. She sort of blew it off like it was nothing. There are those in our lives who would read all of this and think it%26#039;s BS. I%26#039;m as skeptic as anyone, but menatl illness is real, and it IS treatable. Get that help, worry about the money later, and live one day at a time.
How do I break away from this current state of mind?
Continue seeing your counsellor. Take the medications that you need to take, and follow your counsellors advice to the best of your ability. This will make you feel better, because you know you are making an effort. Many people learn to funciton with illness.
Have you considered that your close attention to the instrumentals may not necessarily be a bad thing? Perhaps you are a budding musician :-)
Realize that financial troubles make everything else seem worse. I don%26#039;t know how bankruptcy and debt works in the States, so you would be best advised to make an appointment with a financial counsellor. Please ask your friend or your counsellor for advice on who to see.
Also find a career counsellor who can help you explore options on part-time employment. If you can%26#039;t find work with your BA, you may have to try something completely unrelated to the field you%26#039;ve studied. You may have to learn a trade or do something that does not require formal training. This is quite normal (and frustrating) for many university graduates.
Commit to taking short walks every day around your neighbourhood or even in your own house. Exercise can work wonders.
Please try not to think too much about your tics. Sure, there are some insensitive people out there who freak out at any sign of difference (eg tics, stuttering, etc), but there are also many understanding people out there. Try to focus your mental energy on the positive people.
All the best, take things one day at a time.
How do I break away from this current state of mind?
sounds like you%26#039;re giving up. thats why you don%26#039;t want to get out of bed. life is hard. and currently very hard on you. you need to find something that will get you up in the morning, something unrelated to those things that are depressing you, something to live for. something to cheer you up. do you have a pet? i may sound like some crazy cat lady, but pets can really help depression. I was suicidal before i got my dog. he%26#039;s honestly given me a reason to want to live. his life is my responsibility, and when you know that someone else is depending on you, you change some things around.
i%26#039;m sorry for everything going wrong w/ you right now, but life works in phases. you%26#039;ll get yourself out of it. good luck
How do I break away from this current state of mind?
You ARE going to be ok!!! That%26#039;s the most important thing to remember... although it%26#039;s often the hardest thing to believe.
A lot of the feelings you are having at the moment are not a direct result of your circumstances.... they are just a result of the horrible traps of Depression. You know that feeling like this isn%26#039;t quite right, and teh fact that you%26#039;ve come here and opened yourself up shows that you have already taken the biggest and hardest step on your road to recovery... you know there is a problem and you want to fix it. I am really glad that you are going to therapy. Thats not easy. So give yourself a pat on the back. You%26#039;re on the right track! :)
You will gain confidence in yourself when you start getting better. I would recommend speaking to a financial advisor... or even other graduates who have faced similar financial problems and find out how they did it. It%26#039;s also a good idea to find out more information about how you%26#039;re feeling. I would highly recommend reading the no.1 best seller %26quot;The Road Less Travelled%26quot; by M. Scott Peck. It%26#039;s kind of like a self-help book by a Psych... but it%26#039;s very practical and realistic and a touch spiritual. The first line is simply %26quot;Life is difficult.%26quot;
Another thing that is really important is to find things that you are interested in and emerse yourself in them. You need to get out of your head sometimes, although I understand it is really hard and feels impossible (hence the wanting to sleep a lot).
You are not alone. There are so so many people going through a similar thing and even more who have been through it and come out totally transformed and empowered! You are going to be ok. You don%26#039;t deserve to feel like this.
My love and best wishes :) xx
How do I break away from this current state of mind?
Hi sweetie u will be OK none of this is your fault yes get some debt counselling can u help out at an animal centre or walk dogs etc if u ever need to talk I%26#039;m here ready and willing to listen my email adresss is twarrillow@yahoo.co.uk
How do I break away from this current state of mind?
My goodness sweetie ! I wish I could be of any help ! You need to go to a %26quot;Crisis Center%26quot; ! If you started therapy only a month ago, keep going because it is still too early to make a judgment from the sessions you have gone through ! Hold on to that friend of yours and never lose hope ! I will pray for you and please, don%26#039;t make anything stupid ! Since I have never suffered the symptoms you are mentioning, I can%26#039;t be of any help ! I wish you all the best, and if you need to talk to someone, email me !
Nothing you are experiencing, is your fault ! Hang in there !!
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