20 Responses to put off Telemarketers .....who call you when they like !?

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

2. If they start out with, %26quot;How are you today?%26quot; say, %26quot;I%26#039;m so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . %26quot;

3. If they say they%26#039;re John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

4. This works great if you are male. Telemarketer: %26quot;Hi, my name is Judy and I%26#039;m with XYZ Company. %26quot; You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, %26quot;What are you wearing?%26quot;

5. Cry out in surprise, %26quot;Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?%26quot; Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.

6. Say %26quot;No%26quot; over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, %26quot;I don%26#039;t have any friends, would you be my friend?%26quot;

8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: %26quot;Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?%26quot;

9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can%26#039;t just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

10. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, and they can%26#039;t sell to employees.

11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, %26quot;Oh my God!%26quot; and then hang up.

12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, %26quot;I guess you don%26#039;t want anyone bothering you at home, right?%26quot; The Telemarketer will agree and you say, %26quot;Me either!%26quot; Hang up.

13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on %26quot;home incarceration%26quot; and ask if they could bring you some beer.

16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

17. Tell the Telemarketer, %26quot;Okay, I%26#039;ll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I%26#039;m not wearing any clothes.%26quot;

18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. %26quot;Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how%26#039;s your momma?%26quot;

19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . .

20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.

NOTICE: The above have all been tested and approved for use on telemarketers. No animals were harmed in the testing

20 Responses to put off Telemarketers .....who call you when they like !?

I%26#039;m printing this out and leaving it near the telephone.

20 Responses to put off Telemarketers .....who call you when they like !?

**** phoning u

20 Responses to put off Telemarketers .....who call you when they like !?

I just tell them that I rent my house and that gets rid of them.

I actually own my house but I found out this little piece of information from when I did used to rent.

20 Responses to put off Telemarketers .....who call you when they like !?

HAHA! these r so funny. i will have to try some of these.

one i have used has been to pretend you cant hear anyone on the line and keep saying %26#039;hello? hello? is anyone there? hello?%26#039; until they hang up.

20 Responses to put off Telemarketers .....who call you when they like !?

BAHAHAHA! They%26#039;re classics! I%26#039;m copying them all down. Here%26#039;s a one i like.

When you find out it%26#039;s a telemarketer, put the phone on the floor or on the desk and let them just keep talking and waiting.

20 Responses to put off Telemarketers .....who call you when they like !?

bahahahaha

I love 18.

20 Responses to put off Telemarketers .....who call you when they like !?

Good one.

My favourites are:

1) I%26#039;m deaf

2) I%26#039;m a small child and want to discuss my bike, pants, pet tadpole etc.

3) I%26#039;m a bit %26quot;special needs%26quot;

4) I have tourettes

5) Repeating everything they say in the style of Cartman

6) Pretend to masturbate

7) Scream incessently

8) Ask if they%26#039;re selling animal porn, because that%26#039;s what I really want to buy

9) %26quot;Where did you get this number? It%26#039;s a secure military line. Put your supervisor on immediately...%26quot;

10) %26quot;A-ga-do-do-do, push pineapplee, shake the tree...%26quot; etc.

20 Responses to put off Telemarketers .....who call you when they like !?

excellent :)

20 Responses to put off Telemarketers .....who call you when they like !?

haha!

these are good.

20 Responses to put off Telemarketers .....who call you when they like !?

Yes its good - and damn usful too!!

I wish i had this a week ago when i had 2 callers in the space of an hour, while i was trying to look after my sick daughter!!!

20 Responses to put off Telemarketers .....who call you when they like !?

Hehe, I tend to hang up as soon as I hear a voice I don%26#039;t recognise. These sound much more entertaining though :-)

20 Responses to put off Telemarketers .....who call you when they like !?

Another one is with double-glazing companies. I tell them that I live in a listed house - that sends them away! But, I love you%26#039;re other suggestions, and I%26#039;m definitely going to keep them by the phone.

20 Responses to put off Telemarketers .....who call you when they like !?

thats ace nice one have a star

20 Responses to put off Telemarketers .....who call you when they like !?

LOL I usually just do number 12 on them.

20 Responses to put off Telemarketers .....who call you when they like !?

Lol, very good!!!

I love the one about giving you their number so you can interrupt them, ha, ha, ha!

Have a star on me!

20 Responses to put off Telemarketers .....who call you when they like !?

excellent

20 Responses to put off Telemarketers .....who call you when they like !?

HAHA!!!!!! your great man!! I am saving these for later and have a star!!

20 Responses to put off Telemarketers .....who call you when they like !?

Ahahahahahahah OMFG....thanks a lot....this is so damn Awesome, funny and helpful haha lol!

I%26#039;ll be sure to use some of these great responses :) Especially the one where i keep asking them to repeat themselves ahaha thats Awesome....and the one where i want to write everything down!

20 Responses to put off Telemarketers .....who call you when they like !?

i always play dyslexic and when they give me numbers like 800-123-4567 i repeat the number like 801-234-7651? then they have to repeat it correctly and i rephrase it wrongly again. we go back and forth about 7-8 times and eventually they give up.

Sometimes i flirt with them and say in a deep low voice how sexy they sounds and i make sounds and say things like mmmmm i just wanna eat you up. i then tell them to talk slower and use a breathier voice. i keep going mmmmm i love it when you talk about sales. go on.. talk to me like that. mmmmm

20 Responses to put off Telemarketers .....who call you when they like !?

Hi

just do what I do and say I will just have to put you on hold! Bear with me. Then I just walk away and when I come back they have already gone.xx

20 Responses to put off Telemarketers .....who call you when they like !?

I normally just hang up, THAT works great too.

This question just looks like a %26quot;cut and paste%26quot; of one of those stupid emails that gets circulated round american offices.