Telemarketer fun?

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

2. If they start out with, %26quot;How are you today?%26quot; say, %26quot;I%26#039;m so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . %26quot;

3. If they say they%26#039;re John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

4. (This works great if you are male) Telemarketer: %26quot;Hi, my name is Judy and I%26#039;m with XYZ Company. %26quot; You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, %26quot;What are you wearing?%26quot;

5. Cry out in surprise, %26quot;Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?%26quot; Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.

6. Say %26quot;No%26quot; over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, %26quot;I don%26#039;t have any friends, would you be my friend?%26quot;

8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: %26quot;Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?%26quot;

9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can%26#039;t just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

10. If the Telemarketer is selling raffle tickets, tell him or her that you work for the same company, and that employees cannot participate.

11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, %26quot;OH MY GOD!%26quot; and then hang up.

12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask if he/she will give you their home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, %26quot;I guess you don%26#039;t want anyone bothering you at home, right?%26quot; The Telemarketer will agree and you say, %26quot;Me either!%26quot; and proceed to hang up.

13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation. For added effect, clanging of cutlery and dishes is recommended.

15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on %26quot;home incarceration%26quot; and ask if they could bring you some beer.

16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

17. Tell the Telemarketer, %26quot;Okay, I%26#039;ll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I%26#039;m not wearing any clothes.%26quot;

18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. %26quot;Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how%26#039;s your momma?%26quot;

19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up... louder... louder!

20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down

Telemarketer fun?

Even my dog is laughing. I hate telemarketers. The only people who call my landline. I just dont answer anything but my cell now.

Telemarketer fun?

You made my day!! My sides hurt so bad. You get a star!!

Telemarketer fun?

I%26#039;ll use some of these. I tend to answer the phone in Japanese. My friends all know I do that, but a telemarketer won%26#039;t know what to do.

(%26quot;Moshi moshi%26quot; is how the Japanese answer the phone.)

Telemarketer fun?

HA awesome my favorite one is when they ask for some one tell them they died or they were kidnapped or I sometimes try to sell them something like my old car or sometimes myself( that usely gets them)..in short who needs the tele zapper it makes life less interesting and semper phi

Telemarketer fun?

Thanks for the good laugh. I made a copy and am going to put it by the phone. Watch out, telemarketers!

Got one the other day that was so intent on reading her script, she kept going despite words like excuse me, I don%26#039;t want this, and I started to say, and don%26#039;t call here anymore, and she hung up. That was the dove Institute. It has nothing to do with soap, or being 99% pure. Claimed to be a kid%26#039;s charity. Yeh, I bet. From my pocket to your kid glove, to be worn on your world tour.

I%26#039;d give you ten points for putting this in answers.

Semper Fi!

Telemarketer fun?

Number 12 is the best!

Telemarketer fun?

It%26#039;s even funnier in the etiquette section! Thanks!

But FYI, some telemarketers are instructed never to hang up no matter what. These can be relly fun but when you tire of the game you will have to be the one to hang up.

Telemarketer fun?

Great ideas!

Another idea, tell them you have plenty of time to talk, but you need to get rid of the person on the other line. Then, set the phone down and walk away. Don%26#039;t hang up. Just leave.

Telemarketer fun?

These are all great.... telemarketers are stupid they wont understand reasons when you don%26#039;t want to talk to them i will surely try one of these next time I%26#039;m talking to them.. on the other hand I%26#039;m afraid there are already people who do all these things you said and they are supposed to be %26#039;normal%26#039; i work in a call center i don%26#039;t make calls i RECEIVE them and its pretty much about customer service and i guess it wasn%26#039;t all that funny to me %26#039;cause people already do these things to irritate you when you are trying to help them and you are the one receiving the call!! =( why are people so mean?

Telemarketer fun?

As if their job isn%26#039;t difficult enough already? They%26#039;re just people trying to make a living- it%26#039;s not exactly a hobby. They are not stupid, as the previous poster so kindly says, they are people who need to make some money and deserve as much respect as anyone else who is simply doing their job. It%26#039;s not a fun job, but it pays well, and some people don%26#039;t have any better options. Being treated like s**t for trying to earn an honest living just adds insult to injury.

Telemarketer fun?

What a t..... thing.....?? what does tele... whatere, mean?

Telemarketer fun?

hahahah i%26#039;m a telemarketer...i don%26#039;t sell anything just offer free estimates.. (yeah it%26#039;s sucks and i don%26#039;t give a damn about the people i call cause i don%26#039;t know them and hey i get paid $10 an hour and sometimes more..i would never do it for a living though..just a part time job).. but yeah i%26#039;ve heard like 80% of those and i joke along back =D it%26#039;s fun. i make up accents too...and sit on my *** and get paid for it. it%26#039;s not that bad if you make the best of it. and the people that joke with me are what makes it fun. =) some people are just plain rude though..